I don’t get out much, but was invited to a party to watch the election on Tuesday. The guy having the party was a man I very much so fancied, so I got dressed all cute and brought a bottle of wine. Polls were showing Hillary had an 85% chance of winning, so I really didn’t have much to worry about except flirting with the party host and trying to not get wasted and make a fool of myself. Regardless of that, I drank two mini fridge style whiskies prior to my arrival, just to be prepared for the range of possibilities the night could hold.
Four hours into the watching of the election, I was convinced that someone was withholding all of Hillary’s electoral votes. But hoped that they were going to surprise us with a plethora of them at the very last minute, naming her the first woman president of the United States of America. With this theory settling deep within me, I noticed that I was pretty drunk and started to fall asleep on the cute guy’s couch (who by the way, hardly acknowledged my existence the whole night--which I later discovered this was the least of my concerns).
My friend drove me home as I pondered the election thus far. Although I was slightly worried that things weren’t looking up for Hillary, I found it unfathomable that Trump would win. With this, I began watching The Office, to try to drown out that whisper of worry that was rising in my gut, as I drifted off to sleep.
5 A.M I woke up in a flurry. Headache pounding showing strong signs of a hangover. For a moment, I forgot about the election, but shortly after, I begrudgingly remembered. I fumbled and typed ‘president’ in my Google search as quickly as I could. To the demise of my optimism and possibly my country, I saw the color red, and Donald’s Trump’s face as the new president of the United States. I felt like his Google image could see me, lying there in my bed topless and vulnerable, so I quickly covered myself. Although it wasn’t a logical thought/response, I felt violated. The only words that my worried lips could summon were “No. WTF Just Happened?”
I have since shed many tears. Tears for my country that has lost its freedom, lost it’s ability to flourish and progress, lost it’s hope. Tears for the people of color, for those in the LGBTQ community, for women. Tears for the families that will be torn apart after coming here in hopes a better life, but will now be banished against their will. For those whose insurance will be stripped from them. For those who wear a hijab or turban. For those who don’t, won’t, and shouldn’t conform, but are locked away because of it.
Through all of these tears, I must say there is one thing that gives me strength. Togetherness. Together we will have to find a way to stand up for what we think is right. Together we will have a chance. Together we will fight. Together, we can make a change. When an act of hate is before us, together we show love and that love, can change the future, thus, changing the America that is so dauntingly being waved in our faces.
It’s hard not to wonder where we went wrong to get us here now, but we cannot waste time and fret on these sort of ponderings. It is also very hard not to be scared--I am, very much so. But the hardest yet most powerful thing to do is to stand strong in a time like this, and stand for what we want and what we need. So, let’s.