I once heard this really awesome metaphor that I wish I could take credit for, but I can’t. It went something like:
“Men, imagine you are at a bar and a man comes up to you. He is trying to talk to you about religion and you’re really not interested. You are just there with your friends and trying to enjoy yourself. Now imagine this happening five times in one night. And NOW, imagine that they are all trying to have sex with you.”
Being a woman is f****** hard, and no man will ever be able to understand the struggles we have to deal with, so please don’t come at me like you do. We especially struggle when we are trying to be taken as professionals. I am also aware that men face their own struggles as well, but I am not talking about that because I am not a man, and simply could not understand.
Lisa Ling described the struggles she had to face on her way up to becoming an extremely respected journalist, and her struggles were all too familiar to me. She said she received incredible opportunities by men in positions of power, only for them to be retracted when she wouldn’t engage romantically with them. Do you know how incredibly humiliating and discouraging it is when your dreams are used as a weapon to get close to you? It did not matter that Miss Ling became one of the youngest reporters of her time, or that she is a published author who has multiple documentaries and international reports under her belt. She was beautiful , and therefore was not taken seriously. Somehow Miss Ling managed to get past all of that, and is now sitting in a position of power. If she can do it along with all the other respected women of the world, any woman can.
Whenever a man doesn’t get their way with a woman, she miraculously becomes “crazy” or a “bitch.” She is suddenly overlooked and ignored. These men stop pretending her opinion matters. Personally in my life, I know who these people are that have said these things about me. I know EXACTLY who they are, and at the end of the day, they are only hurting themselves. I’m not saying I am going to be this great big thing in the future, but one day they are going to cross a woman who will be. Women are calculative , creative, and patient. Women will come up from behind when you least expect it.
Yes I am sensitive, and yes I do take that shit personally. Because I didn’t spend fifteen years of my life studying piano, guitar, songwriting, an music in general to be overlooked. I also didn’t spend my educational career getting a degree in Digital Media and Mass Communications to be treated like an unknowing pair of boobs by some dude who is too drunk off his ego juice to realize I might have a brain.
I am fully aware that I am not the only woman who has dealt with this. Every girl gets hit on, I am not special. But before you call a girl a “bitch”, maybe consider she is like that because of years of having to protect herself from people trying to take advantage of her. I am also aware that this is a fact of life, and am by no means complaining, more so just sharing my thoughts. If anything, it makes me want to work harder. No one owes me anything, and my life is a happy one full of acceptance. I do music because I love it, and there is nothing else to it.
That being said, I am about to come out with my fourth album. Every single word I sing in all four albums was written by me. Every guitar and piano instrumental you hear was played by me. Every vocal recording was recorded by me in my own home, and sent out to engineers. I distributed this myself, because I don’t rely on anyone for shit.
I am not worried about my future or my success, because music will always be a part of me. As long as I am making music, I am successful.
I have great and few friends and family, and I am so thankful for all of you. No matter who or what this industry throws at me, I will always have you guys and my music to keep my head above water.
Love to everyone, even the people who don’t support me. - Bateau